I pull into a parking lot, cut through a spot to get
to the next lane. Yes, I am one of those
who use the parking spot short cut. Rather
than go straight across I turn right. I
realize there is a pick up truck facing me with anger and disgust, with a few choice
thoughts and words expressed toward me.
Needless to say I was uncertain what the problem was as there was plenty
of space for both of us to get through the lane (my vehicle is quite small and
economical). She made her gestures. And
I, in Puerto Rican Ghetto fashion, provide a few gestures and slurs (and I was
having such a good day). Regardless of
the incident I did park my car with a deep breath and moved on, not allowing the
incident to have anymore power over me.
Upon entering the store I picked up a basket for groceries
and begun to walk away. Suddenly I
notice the basket only has one handle.
So I return to the baskets for a new one and notice the ‘other’ road
rage driver. Worry not, for I had nothing
to say and did not want to ruin my day or be 86’ed out of El Paso's Albertsons. I proceeded to leave the area when this woman
of average height, older than myself (possibly 40’ish), slender red head begins
to say: “Excuse me miss. Ma’am, excuse
me”. I turn and reply, “I have nothing
to say”; and I begin to leave when she invades my very guarded (yet suddenly
very vulnerable) personal space. Sweat
begun to creep over my brow and my space unexpectedly overrun by this stranger,
who seconds earlier was on top of my hit list (coal in her stocking for sure).
She put her hand ever so gently upon my left
shoulder and asked me to forgive her as it was just nasty and unnecessary to
act like that. Incapable of thought but
swirling with emotion I looked around, everywhere but in her eyes (although
covered by sunglasses, I looked away as I could not handle the reflection). A lifetime seemed to pass as I stumbled for
articulation – sound, something. Again
she asks me to please forgive her, making certain to inform me that she felt
sorry and horrible. For the first time
in my life I did not know what to say or how to respond. A stranger was touching me without malice! Eventually I managed to muster a few
sentences, none of which consisted of ‘stop touching me’.
I put my left hand on her shoulder and told her not
to worry as I was certain my behavior was equally bad, if not worse, and that
it really was unnecessary. Sad that my
brain and language skills failed me at that moment; I was taken back by her
serious sincerity (unless of course she was an employee – ha lol). I was lost in the moment of human
dignity. My story seems short and simple
but it is the farthest thing from simple or short. This woman impacted me in a very profound
way. She and the situation are an
example of how we run through our days ignorant and closed off to the world and
those around us - yet how quick we can ignite.
We allow a moment to consume us, change our demeanor, and allow our
dignity to fall away.
There are many lessons to learn from this
experience. One of which is we share
space and time with strangers more often than not and should be aware/conscious
of ourselves and our emotions. We forget
the world does not revolve around us. Second,
a single moment does not have to rule us or our day. We control the destiny of our day(s). Third, it is never too late or impossible to make
amends. To make amends is to take a step
forward to living a happy and well rounded life. Finally, we are all trying to coexist in the
midst of personal drama and chaos, whether in public or private, we are all
working to live our lives as best we can.
If we could all take the time to admit our wrongs with true sincerity,
this planet would be a much better and happier place for each of us; our
personal drama and/or chaos does not have to be unleashed upon innocent
bystanders, nor does it have to be carried with us everywhere we go (leave it
at home). Some may read this and think I
have put too much thought into one situation but I feel and believe it to be
thought provoking and inspiring. This
very beautiful stranger provided me with hope; hope that society has and is not
as corrupt as we often believe, which means my children have a chance to
experience the beauty we provide as humans: compassion, forgiveness,
understanding, dignity and love. There
just maybe hope for the races. 
I could tear apart this paper with psychological
terminology and meaning, but I won’t. As
it stands I am well aware of why I in turn was so ignited and shamefully admit
that. However I realize that I too am
not beyond forgiveness, understanding, or progression – I was humbled and plan
to work on not allowing such inconsequential events break apart my own sense of
self worth and dignity, nor allow myself to devalue any moment of
experience. Ma’am, if you happen upon
this paper please know and understand that you impacted me in the most profound
ways. I am indebted to you and thank you
for kindness – your message did not go unheard or unfelt. At the very least, whoever shall stumble upon
this paper, remember that our actions impact others most!
